I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
