just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
