Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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