I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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