Small penises have feelings too.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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