Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize