I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
