she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
