everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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