South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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