i just google imaged poop.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
