I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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