He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found your dick twin last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
