I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
