I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
