Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize