I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
