Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
