Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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