shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
