guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
