Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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