Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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