So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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