I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize