My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
