If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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