U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
