I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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