I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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