So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
