I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
