1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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