Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
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I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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