Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
