i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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