I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
