What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
