she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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