You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
