Yo dont text me then not text me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Randomize
