I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize