turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
