Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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