: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
