You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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