What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
