Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That's intense
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
