You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
