if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
