Yo dont text me then not text me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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