She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
