he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
