He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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