You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
