so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
