Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
