I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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