Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
