At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry my hands just texted you
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
